A Random Adventure in Terraria
by The NSA Agent
Summary: Follow Mark and Naomi (The players) as they defeat Plantera (a boss). And what's this whole thing about The Guide? This will have many chapters, so be patient.
1. Chapter 1: Mark Wakes Up

**A/N: Hey. This chapter has been edited. You might want to re-read it. Haven't read this fic yet? Good sir, (or madam) your parents must be ashamed.  
**

 **Legal stuff:** Terraria is owned by Re-Logic (Desktop version), 505Games, and Engine Software (Console and Mobile versions). The characters (except Original Characters [OC]), items, settings and general concept are not mine and therefore I am not allowed to make a profit off of them. The events here are a pure work of fiction. Any resemblance to any real-life events is purely coincidental. **  
**

 **This information is here if you want to re-create the characters in your copy of Terraria.**

Mark's appearance:  
EyeColor: Brown | Hair: 25 - Color: Medium Red | Clothes: 4 (trench coat) - Color1: Brown - Color2: Dark Red - Color3: Blue

Naomi's:

EyeColor: Blue | Hair: 6 - Color: Teal | Clothes: 5 (Robes) - Color1: Yellow - Color2: Green - Color3: Brown

Mark has the standard skin color while Naomi's is slightly darker. You probably don't even need to touch that option.

* * *

 **Chapter 1:** At high noon

Mark opened his eyes.

He was lying under a tree in a rather dark forest.

He sat up. He was sitting under a tree in a dark forest.

He looked around. He was sitting under a tree in a dark forest next to three items: a brown dagger, axe, and pickaxe. Plus a backpack.

He stuffed everything in the pack and stood up. He was standing under a tree in a dark forest, pack on his back filled with an axe, a pickaxe, and a dagger.

"Hey, stop being repetitive!"

Oh, sorry.

Before he could fully realize that he just broke the 4th Wall, he heard a rustling in the bushes.

He drew the dagger. He was standing battle-ready under a tree in a dark forest-

"Stop it!"

Sorry.

Suddenly, a green blob leaped out of the bushes and landed right on Mark's nose, knocking him back. He landed on his butt like cartoon characters do. Mark wiped the layer of gooey stuff that collected on his face off in time to see the blob jump at him again.

Suddenly, the blob exploded and a tree nearby sprouted a feather-tipped branch.

"Are you okay?"

Mark turned around. Behind him, was a ginger-haired man wearing a grey shirt and blue jeans. He was holding a wooden bow, string still vibrating.

"Uh, yeah." Mark said. "Who are you?"

"I'm Garret!" He extended his hand towards Mark. "What's your name?"

"Uh," Mark said, taking the hand. "Mark." Garret pulled Mark to his feet. "So, Garret, since we're asking questions, where am I?"

Ask a college professor what two plus two is, and you'll understand Garret's expression. For those who don't know any college professors, Garret's expression pretty much says, "Boy, there is something wrong with your childhood if you don't know that."

Garret, however, had the good grace to not say what his face said, and instead said, "Why, you're on the island of Terraria!"

Mark blinked a couple of times. "Okay, how did I get here?"

Garret shrugged. "I dunno, but since you're here, I might as well help you."

"Thanks."

"First things first, we need to build a house before nightfall."

Mark may not know much at this point, but he is no master carpenter. "I can't build an entire house in six hours!" It was noon, based on the sun's position.

Garret thought about it for a moment, then said, "Don't worry, the physics here are different. It doesn't even need to be fancy. A wood box is enough."

Indeed, the physics were different. After cutting down a tree, all one has to do is place the wood in the spot one needs it. Even the creation of different objects was different. Just have enough of the required materials, stand next to the correct object (if needed), and just think strongly about what you want to make.

In no time, Mark made a wood box with a door, table, and chair. Just in time, too. The sun was about to set when he was done.

"Now, it's very important that you don't open that door." Garret said when they were both inside.

"Why?"

"Because if you do, zombies will come in and eat you alive."

Mark didn't ask another question after that. He also didn't go near the door, even when something was pounding on it. "Don't worry, they won't get in." Garret said, after a minute of the pounding. He then settled back in his chair for a long rest.

Despite the constant hammering at the door, Mark fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2: Another One

**A/N: This chapter has most likely been edited since you've last seen it. Re-read it! Brand-new reader? Don't worry, I didn't have "limited-time content" in here, or the last chapter. That sort of DLC sucks. I just fixed my "freshman mistakes."  
**

 **Chapter 2:** Another one (Version 2)  


Exactly seven days have passed since Mark woke up. In those seven day, Mark had expanded the house into a two-story home complete with two bedrooms. He made an anvil, Heavy Workbench, Sawmill, and loom.

He explored the landscape and had a pretty good idea of where everything is. To the south, there was a land of nothing but red. To the North was a land covered completely in ice. To the west was a great plain dotted with trees. The east held another forest, but with different trees and more vines.

Garret called the southern area The Crimson and warned Mark to never go near there. The eastern forest is specifically called a jungle. When asked what difference there was between a forest and jungle, Garret just said that there were more vines and leafy undergrowth. There were powerful minsters there, though, and Mark shouldn't go there yet.

So how did Mark take these warnings? Like any good protagonist with no brain, he trusted them completely. Seriously, who trusts a guy who just so happens to be there when you wake up with no memories?

Anyways, day seven. Noon. Mark decided to take a walk in the forest. By some coincidence, (or plot convenience?) Mark found himself in the clearing where he first woke up. He was looking up at the trees he first looked at seven days ago, a sense of nostalgia filling his soul, like how sunlight fills a room.

Then he tripped.

And fell.

Flat on his face.

* * *

Naomi opened her eyes. She was lying under a tree in a clearing in a dark forest.

Then a large object fell across her chest, driving the wind out of her and stopping my repetitive writing style before it could begin.

When she regained her breath, she pushed the object off of her and rolled to her feet. Then she saw what it was. It was a man. Young... kinda, scrawny... somewhat, and had a very remarkable shade of red hair. He wore a long coat as red as his hair and was clutching his nose in pain.

"Owowowowowowowowowow!" the man was repeatedly saying.

"Well, maybe if you were watching where you were going, you wouldn't be on the ground right now." Naomi looked around. _Where am I?_ she thought. _How did I get here?_ She looked back at this poor excuse for a man. "Hey you. Where am I?"

The man wiped his nose on his sleeve, blood blending perfectly with the fabric. "Huh?"

 _Great, the first guy I meet is deaf._ "I said,'Where am I?' What is this place?"

"Uh... I think this place was called Terraria."

Naomi blinked. The name wasn't ringing any bells.

"It's an island."

Naomi blinked again. This time, it was at the fact that he went from very specific, to not at all. There were millions of islands on the planet.

"I don't know where exactly it is, though."

 _This guy is useless._ She started to walk away. Maybe get out of the forest and find the nearest city.

"Hey, wait!"

She turned around to see the man crashing through the low-hanging branches that... were next to a clear path. "What?" Naomi asked, impatient.

He produced four items: a backpack, a sword, an axe, and a pickaxe; all in an ugly shade of brown. "You left these."

"I've never sen those before, how could they be mine?"

"They're not mine. There's no one else around, so..." He pushed the items into her arms. "By the way, I'm Mark."

 _Can't argue against that logic,_ she thought. _Even if it comes from a guy like Mark._ She continued walking.

"Wait!"

"What?!" _This guy is persistent_

"Where are you going?"

"Off to find other people." She continued walking. Again.

"But, there's no one that way!"

Naomi stopped, turned, and stomped right up to Mark. "Okay, red-nose, where is the nearest city?"

" 'Red-nose'?" Mark touched his nose and his fingers came away with congealed blood. "Oh." Indeed, his nose was red.

"Answer my question!"

"Ah! Uh, well, um... there are no cities nearby."

...

...

"What?" Naomi asked.

"Uh, there are no cities on this island... as far as I can tell."

The idea of not a single city on this island astounded her. Then again, she hasn't seen past this forest, so it might be a lot smaller than she expect. "So, where do you live?"

"I uh, live with this other guy over that way." He pointed in the opposite direction of where Naomi was walking. "It's just us two. Has been for a week."

"Where were you before that?"

Mark thought about it for a moment. "I don't know. The first thing I can remember was waking up right where you were."

Mark continued his story of what happened in the past week, and I will not bore you guys by restating this first part of the chapter.

"Don't you find it a little bit suspicious that someone was there at the exact moment when you woke up in a strange place?" Naomi asked when he was done.

"He saved me from a Slime." Mark said, as if that explained everything.

 _This guy is waaay too trusting. I'll keep this Garret person at arms-length. Mark too, but he seems too dumb to be plotting anything._

"So, you want to come live with us?" Mark asked. "We have plenty of space, and building another house isn't too difficult."

"In what, six hours?"

Mark chuckled. "I said the same thing a week ago." he said, as he got up to leave. "Come on!" He bounded off into the forest, this time, following a path clear of low branches.

Naomi sighed. _It's not like I have any better options._ She followed Mark.

* * *

"Hi, I'm Garret!"

Mark, Naomi, and... Garret were standing in the dining room of a house at the edge of the forest. Well, Mark and Naomi were standing. Garret was sitting.

"I found Naomi where you found me a week ago!" Mark said.

"Really? So, your name is Naomi?"

"Yeah." Naomi said. _He seems friendly enough._

"Welcome to the island of Terraria, enjoy your stay, yadda yadda yadda, so on and so forth." _Okaay, he's not as friendly as I thought. Maybe he's just tired._

"So, where am I going to stay?"

"How about that house we just built for The Merchant?" Mark offered.

"The Merchant?" Naomi didn't recognize the title.

"An old friend of mine. He recently found out that I was here and wanted to live here as well." said Garret. "And actually, I'll go there."

"You sure?" Mark asked.

"Yeah. I got nothing up there anyways, so moving will be easy."

"Alright. Good night." Garret left. "Alright, I'll show you which room's yours." Mark went upstairs. Naomi, of course, followed.

Her room consisted of a chest, a torch on the wall, and a bed.

"Wow, nice interior design." Naomi said sarcastically.

"Well, I don't have anything better to put here."

"You did fine with what you had."

"Uh, thanks. Well, uh, good night." Mark went to his own room.

As soon as he was gone, Naomi wedged her pickaxe under the doorknob and fell reluctantly into sleep.


	3. Chapter 3: Naomi goes Underground

**Chapter Three:** Naomi's first trip underground

 **A/N: Hey, remember when I said this chapter wouldn't be touched? Sorry, I lied. I had to edit it to fit with the previous two's edits. I promise, this is the only time I'll do something like this.  
**

* * *

Three days have passed. In those three days, Naomi came to trust Mark and Garret... somewhat. Garret just seems like the kind of guy who has a plan for world domination. So far, though, she hasn't been able to find solid proof that he is evil.

The first day was just Naomi listening to Mark as he described the surrounding area. And then exploring the plain to the west.

Day two. More exploring. Mark went off towards the north and returned before Naomi did. She was a quarter of a mile away when Zombies started spawning. Thankfully, she managed to get into the house well before they could catch up to her.

On the third day, Mark came up to her and invited her to join him in an underground expedition.

She refused.

He asked again.

She refused again, strongly.

He asked again, strongly.

It went like this for a full hour. Mark was indeed a very persistent fellow. It eventually came to the point where Naomi said "yes" just to get him to shut up.

 _Besides,_ she thought. _It's not like I have any better ideas. I'm stranded on this island with them, might as well make it partially enjoyable._ In truth, Naomi was curious as to what underground looks like in this blocky land.

Garret walked in at this time. He said, "Hey, you remember how The Merchant's house became mine? Well, he needs a new one."

Mark was out the door at that instant. Garret and Naomi stood there, blinking at his sudden disappearance. Ten minutes later, Mark came back and ran upstairs saying, "I'm gonna get ready. You should, too, Naomi." Garret and Naomi looked out side. Next to The Guide's house, was an identical one.

"He works fast." Naomi said.

"Yes he does," Garret replied. "I wonder what he's excited about."

"I agreed to join him in exploring underground."

"Ah. If you find mushrooms that glow blue, collect them."

"Why?"

"They make better potions." Garret left.

Naomi decided to go back to her room.

* * *

Naomi checked her things again. 35 torches, 128 rope, 5 rope coils, her Copper Shortsword (which had the word "Light" on it, for some strange reason), an axe and a pickaxe, some Gel, and 28 Copper, 3 Silver. She didn't feel ready, but then again, she'd never been underground before.

A knock was heard at her door. "Naomi, are you ready?" It was Mark. "Gotta hurry before the sun goes down."

"Yeah, I guess I'm ready." Naomi shouldered her pack and opened her door, still wondering about the logic of completely trusting yourself to complete strangers. That thought was completely obliterated when she saw Mark standing there in _**THE**_ ugliest costume ever. She couldn't help but laugh. "What IS that you're wearing?"

Mark's smile said that he knew exactly how stupid he looked. "Well, we had so much extra wood from building the house that I made two sets of Wooden Armor."

"You look stupid. I'm not gonna lie."

"Yeah, I know." Mark said, cheeks going redder than his hair. "But if it keeps me from breaking multiple ribs at once, I'll wear it. I got another one for you if you want it."

It didn't even take a second to weigh the pros and cons. Naomi said, "No thanks. If I want to make people laugh, I'll wear a clown's costume." and walked out the front door.

They walked a considerable distance towards a hill just south of the snowy expanse. It almost should be a mountain. Near the base, there was a hole large enough that you could lay yourself flat at the entrance and still have plenty of space between you and the wall. You could jump and still not get halfway to the ceiling. Plenty of torches lined the walls about a hundred feet down, before the floor seems to drop. There were a few pots before the drop and fragments of something ceramic closer to the entrance. Most likely a pot.

"Looks like someone's been here before," Naomi pointed out.

"That would be me," Mark said, as if he deserved a medal for doing it. "Garret said that there were pots underground that held some neat stuff in them."

"You trust this Garret guy a little too much."

"Really? He seems fine to me."

"Okay, but don't come crying to me if he winds up being a Supreme Evil Overlord."

They went in, smashing the pots and sliding down the length of rope at the edge of the drop-off. Another line of torches lined the walls for fifty feet until it stopped at a small crater.

"What happened there?" Naomi asked, pointing at the hole.

"Oh, uh," Mark again turned red. "I found a bomb in one of those pots up there and I threw it at a wall. I didn't realize that those things have a fuse, so they don't blow up on impact..."

"...And it bounced back and blew you up?" Naomi finished. "But how are you still alive?"

"Oh, I was outside the blast range, but a rock hit me square in the chest, breaking a rib, maybe two. I had to drink a potion after that." Mark made an expression of remembering an unpleasant experience. "That stuff tastes horrible, but it works fast."

"So that's why you're wearing that ugly armor." Naomi said, now wondering if Mark brought that extra set.

"Yeah, you could say that." Mark walked around the hole, placing another torch on the wall to light their way and continued in the darkness.

After a few minutes of walking and smashing pots for various items and placing torches, they came to a huge pit, about 20 feet across. It had to have been at least a hundred feet deep. Naomi noticed something glittering in the darkness, across from the cliff they were standing on. "Hey what's that?" she asked.

Mark looked at where she was pointing, shifting the torch in his hand to get a better look. "Looks like some kind of metal." He pulled a glowstick that he got off of a jellyfish that tried to attack them from its pool on the way here from his bag. He also grabbed a bit of gel and slathered it over the glowstick except for where he was holding it. He then drew his arm back and whipped it down, throwing the glowstick across the gap. It spun twice, then landed just below the mass of metal ore, sticking to the wall, illuminating it. It was a dark grey that still shone. They didn't know it then, but it was lead. It was a rather large amount of it, too. With their Copper Pickaxes, it would take a few hours to mine it all. However, they've been in there for at least five hours, six maybe. The sun would go down soon, and Mark knew what happens after dark.

"Too bad." Mark said, after stating how long they were down here. "We'll have to come back for it later."

As he turned to leave, Naomi said, "Hey wait, do you still have a bomb on you?"

Mark stopped. "Yeah, that pot gave me two." He turned around. "But it would just bounce of the wall and fall into the abyss."

Naomi smiled, an idea in her head. "Just give it to me. I'll make it work." She was already reaching into her bag for the item that will get them the ore. Mark silently handed her a bomb, still not knowing where this was going until Naomi took out her secret weapon: gel.

He smacked himself in the head. "I did not think of that."

"It worked on the glowstick, so why not on the bomb?" Naomi stoop up with her newly created Sticky Bomb in hand. "Now, tossing may be difficult, but..." Naomi said as she drew her arm back and lobbed the bomb at the wall where it stuck right on the ore, fuse halfway burnt. They both took a step back before the bomb went off (not that they were in the blast radius, but flying rocks were still a concern), breaking the ore into small pieces that fell down into the hole. "Let's go down after that." Naomi said, already lowering a rope. Mark followed, placing his third-to-last torch halfway down. They swiftly collected the ore and were just about to go up when they heard a growl.

From the darkness came another growl. It sounded like the vocal chords were halfway in the process of decay. Naomi and Mark drew their swords as a human-like figure shambled into the light of the torch. Its jaw hung to one side while the rest of its body slacked the other way. In the place of eyes were empty sockets. Its skin was green and its hair grew in clumps. Its clothes (and parts of its skin) hung off in tatters.

"Oh no..." Mark groaned. "a Zombie." The zombie stopped a few feet away, head swinging back and forth as if watching what they might do next. Except, it had no eyes, so it couldn't see, right?

"Well, its two-on-one, so what's the problem?" Naomi asked? She was ready to charge the creature. Or jump up the rope. She was prepared for either option, really.

"No. that means that it's nighttime up there." Mark explained. "We'll have to fight our way back home."

"Want to run like mad?" Naomi asked, this time prepping herself for the rope route. "I call going first, though."

Before Mark opened his mouth in reply, the zombie lunged at them. They both dodged away in the nick of time... which caused them to jump away from the rope. Mark stabbed at the pile of rotten flesh, but just barely missed as his Shortsword was just too short. The zombie swiped at him, gouging a deep rut in his armor. A scream was heard and a sword sprouted from the zombie's chest, Naomi standing right behind it. She jumped back as the zombie swiped at her too. It didn't seem fazed at the fact that there was now a nice clean hole in its torso. Mark took the distraction as an opportunity to get in close and stab the zombie in the neck, severing what was left of the spinal chord.

The zombie let loose a gurgled cry and backhanded Mark in the face, taking off its own hand in the process. Mark slammed against the wall, stunned, as the zombie shambled over to bite him. The creature was a foot away when Naomi came up from behind and sliced its head clean off. The body leaned down to bite, not realizing that the head wasn't there. Mark, coming back to his senses, kicked the zombie in the chest. Hard. It exploded into thousands of rather disgusting bits of itself. And some silver coins.

Naomi slumped to the floor next to Mark, both of them panting hard.

"It's gonna be tough getting home if there are more of these." Naomi said between gasps.

"This was why I was worried about the time." Mark glared at his sword, wishing it were longer. Would have saved him a rather deep scratch in his armor. Maybe he wouldn't have been so out of breath, too. Then he noticed some lettering in the blade, just above the hilt. "Terrible."

"Hey, don't beat yourself up over bad timing."

"What? Oh, no, I was reading the word on my sword."

"You got that too?" Naomi lifted her sword. "Mine says 'Light'."

"Huh, I wonder why-" Mark was cut off by more zombies growling off in the distance.

"Well, time to go." Naomi stood up. "Off to go cut our way through more of them." By the way she put it, you would think that Naomi did this for fun, like going for a swim. But no, deep down, she was scared. Terrified, really.

They scrambled up the rope as fast as their little hand-held contraptions would let them. They emerged minutes later from the cave where, shock-surprise, it was dark out. The crescent moon was already high into the starry sky. The growling of zombies was louder here, as if a sea of them were between them and home.

Mark estimated about ten of them in the immediate area. "They're pretty loud for just ten," Naomi stated.

"Trust me, there are no more than ten."

"That we know about. There could be some that are really quiet."

Mark made a small snorting sound. "A quiet zombie? As possible as an eyeball flying."

Due to plot convenience, or maybe just Mark's bad luck, a large eyeball swooped down from the darkness to smack him upside the head. Naomi would have commented on the irony of the situation, but the eye was coming around for another pass rather quickly. She pulled Mark aside as it swooped again and half dragged him into the forest between them and home.


	4. Chapter 4: Hey, look! The Merchant!

**Chapter 4:** The Merchant has arrived!

 _ **Back at Garret's house...**_

Garret looked outside. Zombies were roaming around, Demon Eyes flying overhead, and those two aren't back yet.

Needless to say, he was worried. If anything happened to them, he'd be doomed forever. He pushed the thought out of his head before curious readers could guess at his intentions. They had a nasty habit of peering into the minds of people.

He took another sip from his cup. Unfortunately, the only drink they are able to get is water, and that wasn't a good thinking drink. At the very least you need wine.

Garret was interrupted in his thinking of the different types of wine by a knock at his door. He waited a bit for another knock, but instead he got a rough voice saying, "Hurry up and open the door before I get eaten!"

Garret rushed to the door, letting in his old friend from the "outside". He was also crucial to his plan.

"Took ya long enough." The man in the brown jacket and cap said. "By the way, there are two kids that look unconscious in that big house there."

Garret bolted out the door, leaving

 _ **Rewind about two minutes...**_

Mark and Naomi ran as hard as they could. Behind them was what might as well have been the entire Zombie horde. Above them flew a squadron of Demon Eyes, as they will know of them later. Tripping over tree roots, Mark literally running into a tree, and stumbling into holes, it was a wonder that they didn't get eaten alive already.

They managed to get to their house with only getting hit by the Demon Eyes twice. They shut the door into the faces of the Zombies, who promptly started bang on it. Too much of their brains have rotted away to remember how to work a doorknob. Mark and Naomi collapsed too the floor, too tired to do much else. They were eventually lulled to sleep by the rhythmic pounding at the door.

Naomi had a vivid dream that night. She was dreaming that she was in a building she has never seen before, but still felt familiar. It held rows of identical boxes and in those boxes were tables and chairs and a window-like object on the tables, showing lines of text moving faster than the eye can see. She was sitting at one of these tables, in one of those boxes, and was reading these lines of text when a man, dressed entirely in black except for a small stripe of red extending from his neck to his mid-torso, handed her a piece of paper. She took a quick glance at it and-

"Hey, are you guys okay?"

It was morning all too soon. Then again, by the time they got back, it was already 3 AM. Naomi opened her eyes to see Garret trying in vain to wake Mark. Apparently, he was a very deep sleeper. After slapping him in the face a few times, he gave up and turned his attention to Naomi, who was sitting up by now. "Morning," she said, and then fell back asleep, dreaming no more.

* * *

Mark woke up to an old face hovering uncomfortably close. He jumped up in surprise and bashed his head against the ceiling. As he landed on his bed, the old man said, "I hope a scrawny kid like you isn't all that stands between us and Cthulhu's Eye."

"Is that how you say 'Good morning' to all of your friends? Hover in their faces and insult them?"

"No, just the ones that are supposed to fight, but can't even handle one zombie on his own." The man started walking out the door. "By the way, Naomi was the one who told me about that."

"Wait!" Mark called out. The man stopped. "You're The Merchant, right?"

"Oh, right, I didn't introduce myself. Damn old age. Well, I am Edmund. And yes, I am The Merchant." Edmund then walked out the door.

Mark followed, after of course putting on his clothes. He was wondering how he got upstairs into his room. He could have sworn he fell asleep downstairs, in front of the front door. Maybe Garret found them and put him in his room. Garret seems to be the kind of guy who does that. He saved him from a slime when Mark first woke up; it would make sense if Mark was carried up to his room.

The Guide was sitting at the dining table, drinking another cup of water. _That guy has a serious drinking problem_ , Mark thought. _No one is THAT thirsty._ Garret looked up from looking into the distance, apparently daydreaming, as Edmund took a seat across from him. "Oh, you're awake! That's good." Garret said.

"Where's Naomi?" Mark asked.

"Outside, making swords."

Mark frowned. "Does she know how to?"

"I only had to explain making an anvil to you three times."

"It had to be explained three times?" Edmund asked, astounded at the fact that a simple action like that needed more than one explanation.

"Yeah. And then I had to remind him twice what Lead looks like."

Edmund's laughter easily filled the room. Mark just stood there, taking extreme offense to the insults to his intelligence happening right in front of him, as if he wasn't there!

As soon as he was able to breathe, Edmund asked, "So does that mean I can stop carrying these?" He placed three anvils on the table.

Garret shook his head. "No, Mark has a tendency to lose things. The other day, he had to make another axe because he forgot where he put it. Turns out, it was under his bed!"

Mark left at that point, feeling hurt at these jokes at his expense. He didn't get a chance to think about them much, though. At that precise moment when he closed the front door, a heavy object plopped on the grass at his feet. He looked down. It was a sword. Made of lead, it was three times the length of his copper sword, twice as sharp, and four times as heavy. The word "Bulky" was etched clearly into the blade. It was an apt description.

A slime hopped into the edge of his view. Mark walked up to it and swung down. Ever seen a home run? That's how far the slime flew, exploding into tiny bits. It was definitely an upgrade from his old sword.

"Do you like it?"

Mark turned around to see Naomi standing there, holding a similar sword in her hand. "I love it." Mark said.

"I didn't like how slow that one was, so I gave it to you." Naomi glanced at the lettering on her sword. "This one's 'Pointy'."

It certainly looked more needle-like than Mark's sword. "Hey, did you put the words on the swords?"

"No, they just appeared."

They both took a moment to contemplate this. After a minute, Mark gave up and went back inside to ask Garret about it, leaving Naomi to continue thinking.


	5. Chapter 5: They find shrooms

**Chapter 5:** A shocking discovery underground  


"Hey Garret, what's with the words on our swords?" Mark asked as he walked inside.

Garret didn't even blink at the question. "They're called Modifiers. They change how the swords work. Your swortsword's Modifier is Terrible, which reduces its size, damage, and knockback."

Mark stared at Garret, not quite comprehending. Garret sighed. "Your swordsword isn't as big, doesn't hurt as much, and doesn't fling enemies as well as a normal shortsword."

"Oh! Why didn't you just say that?"

The Merchant and The Guide both slammed their heads into the table. "Here, just take this and collect some hay to make yourself a training dummy." Edmund said, holding up a crescent-shaped metal object. As Mark extended his hand to take it, however, The Merchant said, "But! It will cost ya!"

"How much?" Mark asked.

"60 Silver, but I'm sure a kid like you wouldn't even have-" Edmund was interrupted by the clinking of 60 Silver coins. Suddenly, a weight disappeared from his hand and the front door slammed shut.

After a bit of silence, Garret took a sip from his water and said, "Given time, he'll surprise you."

* * *

Mark cut like mad with his newly purchased Sickle... at a tree. Sickles weren't designed for harvesting tree leaves, but Mark apparently needed someone to explain that to him. That person wound up being Naomi. Now that he knew that hay came from grass, he was cutting like mad at the grass. Naomi didn't realize how much the grass has grown here until she was looking at a flat field, interrupted by trees and a lake. Mark proceeded to cut down one of those trees, and then rushed over to the workbench. Minutes later, he came back and placed the newly crafted Target Dummy in the middle of the field.

First, Mark pulled out his shortsword. He took a couple stabs at the Dummy. The Dummy wasn't amused.

Then, Mark pulled out his broadsword. He took a couple of swings at the Dummy. A small smile appeared on the inanimate face of the Dummy. Overall, the Lead Broadsword was the better sword.

* * *

The next week went like this:

1\. Wake up.  
2\. Eat breakfast  
3\. Smack the Dummy around for a few minutes  
4\. Go underground and dig and fight bats  
5\. Make metal bars and make stuff from them (if possible)  
6\. Eat dinner  
7\. Collect a few Fallen Stars  
8\. Sleep

The first time Mark and Naomi found a Fallen Star, they were hesitant to pick it up. The moment it appeared, it obliterated a Zombie that was shuffling towards them. After a few minutes, when it became apparent that it wouldn't be moving again, Mark carefully picked it up. It wasn't hot, despite falling from space, and it gave off a pleasant glow. Naomi spotted another one not too far off and went to get it for herself. When they asked Garret about it, he told them that if they had three of them, they could be given magical power. Naomi couldn't sleep that night, excited by the prospect of becoming a witch, and went outside to collect more stars. That night alone she collected 8 stars.

Mark couldn't have cared less. He didn't believe in magic.

The first few days in the week, they couldn't do anything with the bars. They just didn't have enough of one kind. They did, however, have enough gold to buy a Piggy Bank each from the Merchant and then placed all of their coins in them. They finally found a few chests, looted them, and carried them back to their house for personal use. Mark found an Aglet, torches, two sticks of dynamite, bombs, various ores, and Shoes Spikes. Naomi found torches, an Aglet, bombs, ores, Climbing Claws, rope, and a Cloud in a Bottle. It took a while to get used to it, but soon Naomi was double-jumping everywhere.

They also found some abandoned houses underground. They took the chandeliers and the chests (with all their loot) back to the surface and started expanding their house. They added a basement exclusively for storage and then added a shack exclusively for crafting, for they also found a loom, a keg, and a sharpening station.

The rest of the week passed by without much more to comment on. Naomi and Mark became best friends, and soon they were a devastating force in the field of battle, knowing each other as much as they knew themselves. On the sixth day, they had enough metal to make iron armor and better axes and pickaxes. Mark made a hammer with the remaining silver, while Naomi made a bow from the rest of the tin

The seventh day of this week is when the two found something.

* * *

Mark was busy mining out a bit of gold with his Silver Pickaxe when he heard Naomi cry out further along in the tunnel. He ran over to her as quickly as possible, almost falling into a hole. She was standing at the edge of a torch's light, perfectly fine. Before the words "What's wrong?" escaped Mark's lips, Naomi pointed down the length of the tunnel. There was a blue glow around a curve, pulsing irregularly. They walked towards it, placing torches on the walls. When they reached the bend, they peered out, showing only their heads. They both gasped.

Right there, in front of them, was an underground forest of mushrooms, glowing blue. two thirds of the mushrooms were the size of normal toadstools. The rest, however, were as tall as trees.

"Look! Look!" Naomi said, pointing into the cave.

"Yeah, I see them." Mark said. "They're huge!"

"No, not that!" She pointed past the huge stalks. "Those!"

Mark squinted. off in the distance he saw mushrooms, a house-looking object, a skeleton, and... two heart-shaped objects, glittering in the dim glow. Life Crystals.

"Oh! Well, let's go get them!" Mark bounded off towards the hearts.

Then he heard a strange sound. He stopped, turning slowly to find the source of the sound. It was crying... coming from... the house. He bolted to the house and went inside. There, in the far corner of the room, was a girl wearing very little clothing, weeping loudly. Upon hearing the door open, the girl turned around. When she dried her eyes enough to see Mark clearly, she ran up to him and locked him in a tight embrace, continuing her sobbing.

"WAAAAHH! Help me! I'm lost!" she yelled into his chest. "This place is so scary! Get me out of here!"

"Uh..." Mark said. Just then, Naomi came into the room. "Naomi, help."

But Naomi wasn't listening. She was looking at the radar that she got from a chest two days ago. It said there were three monsters nearby. She saw a skeleton, that was one. She saw a bat, that was two. She didn't see any others. She pointed the radar outside. The count dropped to two. She pointed the radar inside. The count rose to three. She saw a staircase and started to go down. The count dropped to two.

All this time, Naomi noticed that the girl was staring at her with a hunter-like intensity.

"Uh, Mark? I think that girl..." Naomi's sentence went unfinished when she noticed the girl's skin changing, becoming grey. The girl's eyes started glowing red.

Mark noticed it too and tried to let go of the girl, but her grip was stronger than iron. She looked at him with a predatory smile. She had fangs, perfect for tearing through flesh. "You shouldn't be so trusting, human." Her voice was so sweet, it paralyzed him. She opened her mouth and darted her heat forward, towards his neck, and...

...she broke her fangs on Naomi's sword. She let go of Mark and clutched her mouth, howling in pain. Mark kicked her and scrambled to his feet, drawing his sword. The girl got up, talons growing from her fingers. She let loose an ear-piercing screech and dove at them. Mark and Naomi sidestepped and slashed at the girl as she flew by and were stunned as she easily blocked both swords with her claws. Naomi jumped back, drawing her bow. Mark and the girl charged at each other. As Mark's swing was blocked, Naomi fired an arrow straight at the girl's face. The arrow lodged itself in her forehead, feathers almost touching her skin.

She let loose another shriek, as her life slowly faded.

Mark sped up the process by decapitating her.

They both stood there, thinking about the situation. After a moment, they silently left the house and the expanding pool of blood. They collected the crystals and drank a Recall Potion.

What _do_ you say to a situation like that?

* * *

 **A/N: So, yeah. That was... interesting. Before someone else points it out, that creature they fought was originally depicted as being completely naked. This is a T-rated fic, so I gave her at least a bit of clothes.  
**


	6. Chapter 6: Who's this guy?

**Chapter 6(5.5?):** A Man in the desert...

The man opened his eyes and peered across the barren landscape. There used to be water here, but now he has to rely on the Waterleaf the grows in the shade of cacti. Bunnies and squirrels used to play in the trees by the river. Now, scorpions scuttled out of the way of the predatory Antlions. The man turned an walked back into the pyramid.

Inside, there were hallways of traps. The man took a hidden passageway to avoid them all. It was only natural that he knew of it.

This was his grave.

The Pharaoh sat in his throne and waited. He could feel it. The destined heroes were awake. It won't be long before he played his part in completing their quest.

They have to get through the traps first.

Destined heroes or not, he wasn't going to let an inexperienced fool walk into his final resting place. Still, he had no doubts that they would get through.

Suddenly, the hairs on his neck stood straight up. He looked behind him, but saw no one.

It felt like he was being watched.


	7. Chapter 7: OMG GIANT TREE! HUG IT!

**Chapter 7:** A giant tree  


Naomi sat atop a giant tree. The tree was easily over a hundred feet tall, and ten feet wide (Think redwoods, but thicker). When she first saw it, she thought it was a pretty tall tree not too far away. 20 feet tall at most.

Then she walked out of the forest.

She has never seen a tree this tall. Then again, she can't remember past last week, when Mark tripped over her. It was weird, she couldn't remember where she was before one week ago, but she knew how to do stuff. Her instincts were there, but she couldn't recall how they got there. Maybe they were brainwashed. Maybe Garret was the one who did it. It would certainly explain how he knew where to look for two unsuspecting people in the middle of a forest.

Sitting on top of trees really gets you thinking.

"Hey, Naomi! Look at this!"

Mark's voice pulled her away from that line of thought. She looked down at Mark, who couldn't quite climb as high as she could.

"I found something at the base of the tree!"

Cleverly using the Cloud in a Bottle (double jumping at the last moment), Naomi jumped down to where Mark was standing and looked at where he was pointing. There was a man-sized hole in the tree that extended down far beneath the ground.

Without a word, the spelunkers dropped down.

About a hundred feet down, a hole opened up in the vertical shaft of pure tree root. They followed it and it led to a room that seemed to be carved entirely out of the living wood the tree was made of.

It was rather anti-climatic, if you think about it. Mark and Naomi have seen plenty of underground houses before (they're still trying to figure out who was here before them), and this one wasn't much different. The only thing unique about it was that there were two wands in the chest that, as Garret later explained, placed Living Leaf blocks and Living Wood blocks at the cost of one wood per use. There was a leafy-looking loom, though. They also took the furniture. Less that they have to make! And since they used those Life Crystals that they got two chapters ago, it wouldn't be long before The Nurse came along...


	8. Chapter 8: You like deserts, Mark?

**A/N: I AM REWORKING CHAPTERS ONE AND TWO! ENJOY THE ORIGINALS WHILE THEY'RE HERE! The other chapters will be left untouched.**

 **Chapter 8:** Desert expedition

"Naomi?" Mark looked around their house. He just came back from building the house that The Nurse would stay in. The furniture they got from the tree house really helped with the amount of trees he had to use.

"Naomi, where are you?" He went upstairs and looked in her room. Not there. He went outside to their Craft Shack (Mark was regretting the name). Not there either. He went to the basement. Nope. He checked Garret and Edmund's houses. Neither could say where she went. He went to the giant tree. Surprisingly, not there.

He turned to go back home when out of the corner of his eye, he saw a dot moving across the desert that was to the left of the Crimson. He squinted and just barely made out the outline of Naomi's helmet. "What's she doing over there?" he asked himself as he started a brisk jog in that direction. Thankfully, Naomi was stopped a couple of times by Sand Slimes and Vultures, and Mark was able to catch up to her in no time.

"Naomi!" Mark called out. She turned around.

"Hi, Mark!" Naomi smiled as the shadows of seven birds circled above them. "This heat's relaxing, don't you think?"

Mark thought it was unbearable, but that wasn't important. "What are you doing out here?"

"I saw a weird structure from the top of the tree." She pointed off into the distance. Sure enough, a triangular object was sticking out of the sand. "I'm glad you caught up, these Vultures are tougher than they look." Right on cue, one of the Vultures circling overhead cawed loudly and dove down to attack. They side-stepped the bird and both took a swing at it. They both hit it, but the vulture didn't seem too impressed.

Then the other six vultures began to descend.

"Shall we run like mad?" Naomi asked, nodding to the mysterious structure.

"Oh yes. Let's."

Long story short: they made it with only three minor injuries. They were all on Mark. Hey, it's not his fault. He's not used to the desert climate.

The structure turned out to be a pyramid, most of it sunk deep into the sand. They ducked into an opening that was conveniently level with the ground. The Vultures didn't think that it was worth it to go in a confined space. The opening continued into a tunnel that disappeared into the darkness.

They've been through this plenty of times, so they casually strolled in. What they haven't been through, however, was an entire wall of Dart Traps. One or two at once? Yeah, they got through. But not 5 stacked on to of each other, effectively blocking the way. Thankfully for Mark, Naomi spotted the pressure plate well before they reached it and used the pick to lever it out of the floor.

Trap 1 disabled.

Mark almost literally stumbled into the next one. You see, underground, there are falling boulder traps. Well, whoever designed this place thought it would be funny to take those stone blocks that act as the door to the boulder traps and make a disappearing floor trap out of them. Mark would have seen the poorly concealed pressure plate sooner, but his mind drifted to their Nymph encounter the other day.

 _"You shouldn't be so trusting, human."_

That bothered him extremely. It made him think about why he trusts Garret. Or the Merchant. It even made him doubt his trust in Naomi.

That bothered him even more (although he can't say why). Naomi cared for his survival as much as her own, that much was evident. But was there an ulterior motive to it? Was there an asterisk at the end of "I care"? He glanced back at her and that was the moment when he fell into the trap.

He managed to catch the wall with his Shoe Spikes and, with difficulty, climbed back up. Naomi toggled the trap and removed the pressure plate. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said. "That was sort of scary."

"I meant, are you okay?" she said, tapping her head. "You seem lost in thought."

"I'm fine. Really." The look on Naomi's face said that she didn't buy it, but she continued on without saying anything.

A boulder trap was the only thing that was left, and they've seen plenty of those. Especially when there was a boulder-sized hole in the ceiling and a bright red pressure plate on the sand-colored floor, it was easy to spot and disable.

They came upon a torch-lit room, decorated with flowing banners and a throne. In that throne was...

...a mummy. It was just sitting there. Completely relaxed in it's regal clothing. Not giving a care in the world. But, the moment when Mark and Naomi stepped into the room, it moved.

You want ear-piercing? Stand next to Naomi when she first saw that mummy move. She's seen Zombies before, plenty of times, so this shouldn't be too scary for her. Something in her mind, however, told her that when it's been wrapped in layers of cloth, it shouldn't be moving. So, she did what any respectable woman would: scream at the top of her lungs.

"Owwwww. No, I didn't need my ears. Feel free to completely destroy them," Mark said, holding his ears in pain. "Owowowowowowowow..."

The mummy spoke, it's voice raspy from disuse. "I am sorry," it said. "I am not as young as I used to be. You have my apologies for my appearance."

Naomi was huddled up against the far wall, quivering in fear. Mark, however, was brave... or just dumb. There's a fine line between courage and stupidity. "Hi, I'm Mark, and that's Naomi!"

"Greetings, Mark. I knew you two would come here eventually and free us from this great calamity." The kingly mummy inclined his head in a most royal manner. "I am The Pharaoh, and I will help you when you need it."

"Thanks!"

The Pharaoh marveled at this. Usually, people would be suspicious of a mummy offering help after hallways of traps. Is this kid that dumb?

Recovering quickly, The Pharaoh said, "Well then, I have gifts for you two for getting through those traps so effectively." He stood up, joints loudly creaking. "Come, come!" He disappeared behind one of the banners and into a secret room.

"Come on, Naomi. He's gonna give us something awesome, I just know it!" Mark literally dragged a still shaking Naomi into the room. The Pharaoh was standing next to a dirt-colored chest. He motioned to it.

"You may have the contents of this chest and use them as you see fit."

"Cool!" Mark dropped Naomi by the doorway and dashed over and flung the lid open. "Hey, what's this?" It was a bottle full of sand. Even Naomi could see that from her corner. (When did she get there?)

"That is the pure essence of a sandstorm. It took me many years to capture it." Th Pharaoh gestured to Mark. "And now, I pass it on to you."

"Nice!" Mark continued rummaging.

Suddenly, Naomi saw the Pharaoh reach into his robe and pull out a knife. She tried to call out to Mark, but she was rendered mute by the effects of shock at the mummy sighting. The Pharaoh raised his arm and then brought it down towards Mark's exposed neck and...

...the knife hit Mark's sword with a loud clang. The Pharaoh dropped his knife in surprise. Mark took a menacing step towards the Pharaoh. "That wasn't nice." he said. He took another step. "Huh, you aren't as dumb as I originally thought." the Pharaoh muttered. Mark swung his sword and the Pharaoh vanished in a puff of sand and flying bandages, which settled into a pile at Mark's feet.

"Fool" the Pharaoh said from somewhere in the room. "It was a test. Besides, I'm already dead." the bandages and sand were caught in a mini-tornado and in moments, the Pharaoh was standing there again, as if nothing happened. "You passed."

Mark sliced him again. "That was one heck of a test."

The Pharaoh re-formed again. "Hm, I must think of another test."

Mark sliced him again. "Mark!" Naomi scolded.

"Sorry, it's kinda fun."

The Pharaoh re-formed again. "Do you realized how uncomfortable this is?!"

"Nope." Mark said as he lifted his sword for another swing. Naomi shot it out of his hands with her bow. "Stop it." she said.

"Fine..." Mark said. He went back to looting the chest. He found a carpet, some gold coins, and Pharaoh clothes. "Seriously? You want us to have your clothes?"

"I thought one of you would enjoy the look." The Pharaoh shrugged and tugged at his own robe. "I only wear these clothes. I'm dead, so I don't need to worry about germs."

Mark held it up to himself. "Not my style." he said and tossed it to Naomi.

Naomi looked at the robe for a minute, then ducked behind the banner that served as a door. "No peeking." she said from the other room. A minute later, she came back wearing the robe and holding her helmet in her hands. She really did look like an Egyptian Queen. _And_ , Mark thought, _she looks amazing. Beautiful, even._

The Pharaoh clapped. "Beautiful. If I was alive, I wouldn't hesitate to take you as my wife and queen."

Naomi turned redder than Mark's hair. "Um, thanks?"

"No need to be embarrassed." The Pharaoh motioned to another banner. "Now, I may have all the time in the world, but you two don't. Go through that passageway and return to your friends. A valuable ally waits with them as well."

And that concludes their desert expedition.

* * *

When the two left, the Pharaoh sat in his throne. Suddenly, he looked behind him.

Nothing.

Again, he felt like he was being watched.


	9. Chapter 9: The Nurse has Arrived!

**Chapter 9:** The chapter titles don't match

Mark and Naomi came home to find that there is a new person in their slowly expanding town. It was a woman, blonde, young, and dressed in all white except for a red cross on her hat. A nametag on her chest read "Helen".

The Nurse has arrived!

After many warm welcomes and greetings, Edmund came up to Naomi and asked, "Hey, is it just me, or are we being watched?"

Naomi looked around, but didn't see anyone else. "No, it's just you."

"I feel like I'm being watched..." he muttered as he walked away.

An hour of talking with Helen (She's nice... in her own rough way), Naomi looked around for Mark, but couldn't find him. Suddenly, a crash was heard from behind their house. Sure enough, Mark was there amidst a pile of branches, eyes spinning. "Naomi?" he asked.

"Who else?" She pulled him to his feet. "What are you doing?"

"That Sandstorm in a Bottle... he forgot to tell me that it makes you spin like crazy." He held the bottle out to her. "Here, you try it." He fell backwards, right arm holding the Sandstorm straight up in the air..

She took the bottle, strapped it to her waist, removed the Cloud in a Bottle, and jumped. When she almost touched the ground, she activated the Sandstorm in a Bottle and...

The world spun around way too fast for her to see. Naomi flopped painfully to the ground, dizzy. Somewhere off to her left, she heard Mark say, "It's tough, right?"

"Yeah." she said, trying, and failing, to sit up. She decided to continue lying there until the world decides which way is up.

A minute later, Naomi gathered her strength and sat up, tossed the bottle back to Mark, then flopped back into the grass as a wave of nausea struck her. _How could something spin you around like_ that? Naomi thought. _That was what, eight times in two seconds? Wait._ She (slowly) propped herself up on her elbows. _How was I able to calculate that? Maybe I have some math talent?_

She was distracted from her thoughts by The Nurse coming around the corner and saying, "What happened to you two? And what's with this sand?"

Mark lifted his head. "Hey, Helen. This mummy gave me a Sandstorm in a Bottle." He dropped his head. "I am SOOOooooo dizzy!"

Edmund and Garret also came around the corner, wondering where their new neighbor went. It took Garret a moment to figure out what happened, and another to explain it to Edmund.

Meanwhile, Helen was helping Mark up. When he was on his feet, she grabbed his shoulders and spun him around twice. "Whoa! The world stopped moving!" exclaimed Mark.

Helen moved on to Naomi. She helped her to her feet and spun her around twice. Seeing that she could see straight, Naomi said, "Thanks Helen!"

"It's my job." said Helen. Then she walked off.

Mark picked up the Sandstorm. "That was fun! Let's do it again!"


	10. Chapter 10: Boss 1

**Chapter 10:** Boss: Eye of Cthulhu

That afternoon, Garret requested a town meeting.

As soon as everyone gathered in Mark and Naomi's dining room, Garret said, "Mark, Naomi, we might have a problem. Edmund here keeps having these impressions that someone is watching him. Now, that may not be a cause for alarm, but when Helen and I both got that feeling not too long after, we have a problem.

"This is a sign we have been watching for. It is a sign that a powerful creature has noticed you two." He paused. "The Eye of Cthulhu."

"So," Mark said, after a bit of silence. "He noticed us. And?"

Garret sighed. "This creature is now waiting to kill you two."

"Why hasn't he come out before?" Naomi asked.

"He hasn't considered you a threat until now. Or," He looked at Edmund. "Two days? That was when you first felt it?" The Merchant nodded. "Two days ago. Plus, like most monsters, he's nocturnal."

"So, why hasn't he come out yet? If it has been two days since he began to notice us."

"I don't know. But, we need to plan. Here's what I think you two should do..."

* * *

Garret's plan was this:

1) Mark and Naomi will pull together the best metals they have and make the best armor and weapons they can make. (If they haven't already done so)  
2) They will set aside an area specifically for this fight. They chose to build a bridge over a nearby lake. They will relocate their banners and the campfire to this bridge.3) They will gather all of their Healing and battle potions and divide them evenly.  
4) Mark will be close-range while Naomi will use her bow and boomerang (it came from a random chest somewhere).

Naomi decided that Mana potions won't be necessary, since they don't have any magic items. She gathered all of her arrows and used all of her torches to make Flaming Arrows and then rearranged everything in her pack for quick access.

Mark packed the Mana potions because he didn't feel like putting them anywhere else.

By nightfall, they completed all of the preparations. They both have (2) Ironskin Potion, (3) Swiftness Potion, (1) Featherfall Potion, (1) Thorns Potion, and (30) Healing Potions.

Mark is equipped with: (Armor) Platinum Helmet, Gold Chestplate, Platinum Greaves, (Accessories) Sandstorm in a Bottle, Warding Shoe Spikes, Rash Aglet, Spiked Shackle, Band of Regeneration (Weapons) Dangerous Platinum Broadsword, and Godly Spear.

Naomi is equipped with: Gold Armor, (Accessories) Brisk Cloud in a Bottle, Intrepid Climbing Claws, Angry Radar, Quick Depth Meter, Shackle, (Weapons) Platinum Broadsword, Platinum Bow (with 128 Wooden Arrows, 999 Flaming Arrows, and 12 Jester's Arrows), and Keen Wooden Boomerang. She also has (5) Grenades, but she decided to give them to Mark.

They were most definitely ready.

* * *

The crescent moon was high in the sky. Mark and Naomi were sitting on benches on the bridge (There weren't any monsters. Strange.) when a loud roar was heard off in the distance.

The Eye of Cthulhu has awoken!

They both got to their feet, tense, and waited for their enemy. Suddenly, an eyeball as big as their house swooped low along the bridge. Mark and Naomi threw themselves flat against the boards and, when the Eye flew past, Naomi got up and loosed three Flaming arrows in quick succession. Two missed, but the third one hit it right in the pupil and set the Eye on fire. The flames didn't last long.

Mark ran up to it, sword raised high. Before he got halfway, small eyes (smaller than Demon Eyes) came out of the Eye and swarmed Mark. He skidded to a stop and started slashing left and right in an attempt to clear a path.

Meanwhile, Naomi was firing arrow after arrow at the Eye of Cthulhu. She found out that Jester's Arrows go through multiple enemies when a line of Servants of Cthulhu (the tiny eyes) got directly between her and the Eye. After that, she used those arrows to help Mark out.

Mark swung at a line of Servants and they exploded into bloody bits. He looked behind him in time to see another line flying right at him. A white, starry arrow flew by and they too exploded. "Thanks, Naomi!" he said, and jumped up to the Eye of Cthulhu. He held out his sword as he activated the Sandstorm in a Bottle and, using the force of the spin, sliced upwards multiple times. The improvised Spin Attack made eight diagonal gashes in the Eye. Then, by luck or skill, Naomi fired a Flaming Arrow into the gash that was directly on the pupil.

The Eye of Cthulhu roared in pain and started spinning. Faster and faster it spun, until it gave out another roar. The iris and pupil were replaced in a shower of blood by a gaping maw. The Eye roared again and dove straight for Mark.

He barely managed to roll away in time. Naomi fired two more Flaming Arrows before she had to dive out of the way, almost falling off the bridge. The eye turned around, roared, and chomped at Naomi. She jumped out of the way and slashed at it with her sword when it got it's teeth embedded in the wood. Mark ran up to join her when the Eye wrenched free and closed it's jaws around them. Mark pushed Naomi away and...

They Eye bit down on Mark's spear, wedging its mouth open. Mark then pulled out all five of his grenades and tossed them down its throat saying, "Eat this!". He yanked his spear free and the Eye's jaw clamped shut with a loud snap.

It floated there.

It worked its jaw.

Mark and Naomi held their breaths.

Then, the Eye roared and exploded.

The Eye of Cthulhu has been defeated!


	11. Chapter 11: Part Two Aaaand drinking

**A/N: Sorry about the delay. I was busy planning the next Part. That, and getting swept up by Pokemon GO.  
**

 **I swear, some of those people haven't come out of their mother's basement since the NES came out.**

 **Part Two - Fear not the Crimson**

 **Chapter 11:** Aftermath

After a long, well-deserved rest, Mark and Naomi inspected their loot from the Eye of Cthulhu.

They got 67 Crimtane ore, a Crimson Seed, 7 Lesser Healing potions, and 3 Gold.

Mark immediately made the Blood Butcherer and Naomi made a Tendon Bow.

"Okay, I know this is powerful, but I kinda regret making this thing." Naomi said. She held her bow at arm's length.

"What's there to regret?" Mark asked. He lazily batted a Green Slime out of his way. It exploded.

"Think about it: I'm using body parts to shoot arrows! It's gross!"

Mark shrugged. "But it's a really good weapon."

"Hey, guys!" Garret called from his door. "I see you won!"

Mark pumped his sword in the air. "Yeah! We showed that Eye what's what!"

"I did most of the work." Naomi muttered. "And lost a hundred arrows."

"Come inside, I got to tell you something." Garret ducked back into his house.

Mark and Naomi went in and leaned against the wall. There was only one chair and Garret was sitting in it.

"You guys did great, defeating that Eye," Garret said. "I think you guys are ready."

"For what?" Mark asked.

"The Crimson."

"Wait," Naomi said. "You mean the place you said we should never go?"

"Yet. The implied message was 'Don't go there YET'. You weren't strong enough at the time."

"So what's over there?" Mark asked.

"I don't know. I've never been there. It's too dangerous for a lowly Guide."

"But not for us?"

"You proved yourself on that bridge. I can tell by the weapons you have right now."

"But we don't have to go right now?"

"Of course not!" Garret scoffed. "You two deserve some rest and relaxation after that battle." Garret looked up thoughtfully. "In fact, I do believe a celebration is in order."

Mark and Naomi looked at each other, excitement on both of their faces. Everyone loves a good party, and these two are far from being the exception.

"Hey," Edmund said, poking his head into the open door. "I couldn't help but overhear your conversation, but did you say 'celebration?' "

"Why yes, I did." Garret said with a smug expression. "So?"

" 'So', what?"

"Aren't you gonna help these two prepare?"

Edmund's smile could not have been wider. "Aye aye, cap'n!" he said with a salute. He then ran off.

"What are you two still doing here?"

"Where's the party going to be?" Naomi asked.

"Your house, of course. But, you might want to make that main room bigger."

They both ran off to make the necessary adjustments. They also made a keg and a bunch of pint-sized glasses. Edmund and Helen brought the tables and chairs from their houses. Garret went for a walk that afternoon and when he left, Mark stole his table. Three is an awkward number of tables.

When Garret came back, he went up to Naomi and said, "Hey, before we start the party, we need to make another house." And by "we", he meant "you and Mark."

"Who's coming this time?" Naomi asked. She started for the material shed.

"A dryad."

Naomi paused. "A dryad?" She pulled the Living Wood furniture from a chest. "Dryads are wood creatures, right?"

"Yes. Although this one doesn't need anything special." Naomi showed him the furniture. "Ah, I see you went inside a Living Tree." He walked back to his house. "Nice call."

With all of the materials ready, she found Mark and they both began construction. Mark flinched when he heard Garret yell, "Hey! Where's my table?!"

* * *

They partied all night. The ale flowed like water, and by the time the sun came up, nobody could tell what's going on right in front of their faces.

It was awesome.


	12. Chapter 12: The morning after sucks

**A/N: Hey, I'm getting concerned that there still is only one review on this story. It's okay. You can criticize. You can point out the faults. I won't be offended. Really. In fact, an author's worst enemy is when no one has a problem with their work! I need people to hate!  
**

 **SOMEONE PLEASE HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS!**

 ***Ahem* Chapter 12... enjoy...**

 **Chapter 12:** The Dryad has- oh, hangover!

Mark woke up with the most painful headache EVER. And the ale wasn't that strong! He squeezed his eyes shut as the morning light fell across his face. He got up.

It was the worst mistake he could make.

The moment he stood up, he fell onto the table. The crash that resulted sent a thousand hot spikes into his skull, or that's how it felt.

When the pain dulled to a throb, he dragged himself across the floor to the front door. He spent an hour crawling to the river. When he finally managed to get there, he dunked his head in.

He came back up sputtering, his head a little clearer. The light wasn't as painful anymore, but he still winced when a bird chirped.

He heard another splash and looked over at Naomi, who also crawled here. She coughed up water and said, "Never... again..." She got up and limped back to the house. "SO... not... worth it..."

"Had a rough night?" a voice asked from across the river.

Mark peered into the trees, but didn't see anyone. He jumped when the voice spoke right next to him. "Why is it that humans drink so much when they know they'll regret it the next morning?" Mark turned and saw a woman. Young and clothed only in vines.

He blinked and rubbed his eyes. _I must be dreaming,_ he thought. Mark opened his eyes. The woman was still there. "Am I dreaming?" he asked aloud.

"No," the girl said. "I'm definitely standing here."

"Uh, alright. Who are you?"

"I'm Elysia the Dryad!"

Mark pressed his hands to his throbbing temples. "Not so loud!"

"Sorry." Elysia whispered. "Seriously, what is so attractive about alcohol?"

* * *

Turns out that everyone was too busy recovering to notice the arrival of the Dryad. So we'll just skip to the next day, where everyone's head is a little clearer.

* * *

Dawn.

As the first rays of the sun swept over the land, Elysia went to the forest and listened to the birds sing. She learned a new song and taught the birds one that hasn't been sung in over 200 years.

Alas, today's birds have different voices, so it was like playing Beethoven on an electric guitar. It works, but just barely.

When the sun was noticeably higher, Elysia walked back to the town. Everyone was awake by now, doing their things. She was halfway to the largest house when one of the men called out, "Hey!"

Elysia turned and saw Garret running up to her. "Ah, you must be the Dryad. I'm Garret!" All traces of yesterday's hangover were gone from him except for the slight lowering of his voice.

"I'm Elysia!"

"Hi , guys!" Naomi said. She looked at the Dryad. "You're the Dryad, right? I'm Naomi!"

Suddenly, Merchant! "I'm Edmund!"

Suddenly, Nurse! "My name's Helen!"

Suddenly...! ... ... ... uh...

*ahem* Suddenly...! ... ... ...hold on.

 ***Psst!* Mark! You were supposed to enter. Yes, now! Go!**

Not-so-suddenly, Mark. "Morning, Elysia."

"You know her?" Naomi asked. "How?"

"She came up to me yesterday as I was trying to recover from the hangover."

"I thought it would be wiser to introduce myself when people weren't dealing with hangovers." Elysia said.

"Smart move." Garret said.

"So," Mark said. "What do you do?"

Elysia pulled out a few items. "I sell stuff that no one else here has. I can also tell you the current state of this island!"

"Really?" Naomi asked. "So how's it like right now?"

Elysia closed her eyes and concentrated. Then she said, "Terraria is 5% Crimson."

Mark and Naomi exchanged glances of amazement.

The conversation eventually turned to non-important matters. At that point, Naomi pulled Mark off to the side.

"Let's go." she said.

"Where?" Mark asked.

"To the Crimson."

"Are you crazy?!" Mark lowered his voice when everyone turned towards them. "Garret said to never go there!"

"Yet. Never go there YET. We weren't strong enough back then."

"And we are now?"

"That's what Garret says. Besides, we beat up a giant eyeball."

"Well... If Garret says so..." Mark shrugged. "Why not?"

They went to collect the necessary gear and were about to set off when suddenly, explosion.

Everyone rushed to the Dryad's house, which was where the explosion happened. In the rubble was a small, stocky man wearing miner's gear. He looked around at the ruined house and then at Mark and said, "You didn't need that, right?"

Ladies and Gentlemen, The Demolitionist has arrived.


	13. Chapter 13: The Crimson

**Chapter 13:** The Crimson's scary (Not really)  


The Demoltionist's name was Dolbere. They moment he showed up, Mark and Naomi knew that they were gonna be repairing houses until the end of time.

So they fixed the Dryad's place and made another house for Dolbere. After that, they left for the Crimson.

The Crimson, true to its name, was completely red. The grass was red. The trees were red. The stone was red. The hungry monster was red. Even the air was tinged with red.

 _Wait,_ Mark thought. _Hungry monster?_

Suddenly, an arrow whistled of his shoulder and struck the monster in its giant face. It fell to the ground, not moving. "Uh, thanks." Mark said.

"Stop thinking about her." Naomi scolded.

"What?" Mark's cheeks grew red.

"I know you were thinking about the Dryad." she teased.

"No I wasn't." he protested. "I was thinking about all this red."

"You mean the red on your cheeks?"

"Yeah- wait, NO!" Mark felt his face get redder.

"Pervert." she laughed.

"Well, it's not my fault she's wearing nothing but vines!"

"Yeah, I guess." Naomi admitted. "But I also noticed that you pay frequent visits to Helen."

"Zombies."

"Sure, I believe that."

They walked around a bit more, Naomi teasing Mark some more, but it was obvious that above ground was as interesting as watching grass grow. The only bits excitement came from the monster attacks and the thorny bushes.

The monsters came in three flavors, all red: there's the Face Monster, with his giant face; then there's the Blood Crawler, a giant spider; and finally, the flying Crimera. That one gave Mark the most trouble, naturally, because he uses melee weapons. So, he just let Naomi take care of them.

The thorny bushes grew in strange shapes. Most of the time, its shape completely defies gravity. Then again, blocks float. The laws of physics are picky.

As the narrator was busy informing you of the setting, Mark and Naomi found a cave and waltzed right in.

Now the Blood Crawlers became super-effective against Mark, now that they had walls to climb.

As they went deeper, they heard a distant drumming. It sounded like a thousand drums playing different rhythms without any regard for a beat. Listen to a bunch of kindergartners banging on drums to get an idea of what it sounds like.

They went further. Deeper into the red tunnel they walked. Deeper. Deeper. Deeper.

Mark almost fell off a ledge. Almost. He managed to catch himself.

They stood at the tunnel's exit at the top of a large cave, by the sound of the echoes. Here, the beating was louder.

Naomi lowered a rope as Mark swatted more spiders away. "Come on!" Naomi shouted from the bottom. Mark slid down the rope with practiced ease.

"What's making that sound?" Mark yelled. The noise made quiet conversation impossible.

Naomi tilted her head, listening to the beat. It was difficult to tell, but every "drum" made a unique _lub-dub... lub-dub..._

"Giant hearts?" she said. "That's what it sounds like."

Mark shrugged and then ducked as he saw Naomi draw her bow. Another Crawler bit the dust. He stood up and pointed to one of the side-tunnels. "Let's go there."

As they followed the tunnel, one of the _lub-dubs_ grew louder as the others became muted. When they got to the end, they noticed the pebbles were skipping along the ground in time with the heartbeats.

"Looks like it's right behind the wall." Naomi said.

"What?!" Mark yelled. The noise was near-deafening.

"I said, it looks like it's right behind the wall!" she yelled back.

"Oh! OK!" Mark then brought out his pickaxe (it's gold) and swung at the wall.

 _CRACK!_

Nothing.

"Huh?" Mark asked himself, and swung again.

 _CRACK!_

Nothing. The pick didn't leave a scratch.

"Put some muscle in it!" Naomi yelled.

 _CRAACK!_

Nothing.

Mark motioned back the way they came. When they were back into the main cave (after, of course, fighting more spiders and Face Monsters), Mark said, "I can't."

"Why not?" Naomi asked.

"I dunno. But I don't think we can mine any of this red rock."

Naomi shot two more spiders and a Face Monster. "Let's go home and think our way through." she said. Mark nodded and they both drank a Recall Potion.


	14. Chapter 14: Mark gets a friend

**A/N: Wow. I did not expect to leave this story for this long. Thanks for noticing, anonymous. Allow me to explain.**

 **My neighbors and I had a great story idea. So, I was working on that for the past few months and completely forgot about this. The moment I got an e-mail saying "Review for 'A Random Adventure in Terraria'", I wrote this chapter. You're welcome.**

 **Now, let's see what happens next.**

 **Chapter Fourteen:** Mark's Annoying Little Friend  


Mark and Naomi reappeared in their rooms. Turns out that it was pretty far into nighttime, so they went to bed.

Yeah, it's hard to keep track of time underground.

The next morning, they visited Dolbere the Demolitionist, who took the opportunity to try being a salesman.

"You want to get through that Crimstone?" He produced the bane of architecture... "Try some bombs!"

Mark blinked. "You know," he said. "I've never had such good experience with those..."

"That's because you don't stand far enough away!" Dolbere's voice easily filled the room. "You've got to remember, my boy, that these things can really hurt a lad!"

Naomi counted her coins. "I'll take ten," she said.

"Wonderful!" He handed her a medium-sized box labeled "10"

Mark picked up a bomb. "Are you sure these things will be able to blast our way through?"

"One hundred an' ten percent guaranteed!" the dwarf boomed.

"Oh, okay then." Mark tossed the bomb over his shoulder as he and Naomi walked out.

Dolbere was about to start making more bombs when he noticed a sizzling sound. He looked down. The bomb Mark had apparently lit and was just about to explode!

"Wonderful," he muttered.

 ** _KA-BOOOOOOM!_**

"Oops." Mark said.

* * *

After repairing the house and paying Helen, Mark and Naomi traveled back to the Crimson. It took a while because of the monsters, but they got back to the point where the heartbeat was the loudest.

"I guess we set the bomb here," Mark said.

"Yeah," replied Naomi.

They set the bomb and backed off quite a bit. After the explosion, the heartbeat grew louder.

But there was still some Crimtane in the way.

"Really?" Mark asked. He set another bomb.

After the second explosion, the heartbeat was deafening. A red glow came from the hole.

"Yes!" he exclaimed

Mark walked through the hole and saw a glowing red heart floating in midair. He swung his pickaxe at it, but it just bounced off.

"Huh?" he asked in shock. That should have done SOMETHING.

He swung again.

No damage. Again.

"Alright, how about this?!" he challenged.

He drew his sword and swung with all his might, but it just slipped to the side, not doing any damage.

Naomi, meanwhile, was busy fending off some monsters. She noticed Mark struggling. "What's going on?" she asked? Then she shot a spider.

"The stupid thing is immortal!" Mark yelled while swinging his axe. The tree-chopper bounced harmlessly off. "AAARRRGGH!"

Naomi shot another spider, then walked over to the Crimson Heart. She looked at Mark's discarded tools. Then she pulled out her hammer and took a swing at it.

 _A terrible chill goes down your spine..._

The heart splattered open, dropping gold, a red gun labeled, "The Undertaker", and some lead balls. They appear to be for the gun.

"I call sexual discrimination," Mark complained.

"All I did was used the one tool you didn't try," Naomi said. "It's not my fault you narrowed down the options for me."

She put away her bow and picked up the gun. Conveniently, there was a Face Monster walking up right now, looking to eat some faces. It got a **face** full of lead instead.

Naomi pocketed the gun and looked over at Mark. He had a... heart... floating around his head. He is trying, and failing, to smack it with his hammer.

"Get away from me!" he bellowed.

The heart bobbed and weaved around the swinging hammer. It made a cute squeak and nuzzled Mark's red hair.

"Stop that!" He batted the heart off his head, but it just went back to squeaking and cuddling his hair.

Naomi burst into a fit of giggles. Mark glared at her and then swung his hammer again at the tiny glowing heart.

* * *

They found another heart. After bombing the wall and smashing it with a hammer...

 _Screams echo around you..._

"I wasn't the only who heard that, right?" asked Naomi.

"I heard it too- STOP THAT!" The mini-heart was nuzzling Mark's hair again. "Look," Mark said. "I don't like you! Go away!"

The heart's only response was to glow brighter and start orbiting Mark's head.

Mark sighed while Naomi giggled.

* * *

'Twas at the third heart at which the sense of impending doom was upon the adventurers.

English translation: They've got a bad feeling about this.

"If the first one made us both feel that chill," Naomi sad. "And if the second one made us both hear screams..."

"...What would the third one bring?" Mark finished.

"Would it summon a monster stronger than the Eye of Cthulu?" Naomi asked.

Mark thought about it for a while. Finally, he said, "Let's hold off on breaking this third one."

"Agreed," Naomi said. "Until we have the best armor and weapons we could find."

Fate frowned upon them, however, for at that moment, the mini-heart started nuzzling Mark's hair again which caused him to jump in fright (for the heart hasn't been doing that for a solid five minutes) and that jump caused a bomb to fall out. Now, these bombs were poorly designed, so any jolt, like a fall from a backpack, would cause it to light.

The bomb rolled to where the pounding heart was and exploded. Mark and Naomi just barely managed to dive out of the blast radius. As they looked back, their own hearts sank.

The wall was very thin where the bomb went off and the giant heart was caught in the blast, destroying it completely.

A roar echoed throughout the cavern.

Shivers went down their spines.

The Brain of Cthulu has awoken!


	15. Chapter 15 - Death Means Nothing

**Ever had that moment when you know for absolute, undeniable certainty that you had the sword equipped but you threw a bomb instead? Ask these two how that worked out.**

 **Also, Thank you TheosDracos for the encouragement!**

 **Chapter15:** The Mastermind

A deafening roar filled the crimson cavern. It was a roar so great that stones shook upon the floor. As Mark and Naomi raced from the cramped tunnel they beheld a sight most would care to forget.

A large brain hovered in midair being orbited by countless chunks of gray matter. The mini-brains all had eyes. All of them were trained on the two humans.

They started to fly down.

"I swat them while you snipe?" Mark asked, drawing his sword.

"Yeah," Naomi replied, shooting one of the brains down. It exploded into tiny, bloody bits.

The plan fell apart immediately. The Brain of Cthulhu sat back while his minions probed their defenses, and it quickly found it. All of the brainlets swarmed for Naomi, completely ignoring Mark.

"Hey!" Mark yelled. "I'm here! I'm delicious, too!"

"Mark!" Naomi screamed. "Help meeee!" She went down in a dog-pile of brains.

"NOO!" Mark dove for the pile, batting aside brains while the Mastermind laughed an unnatural laugh.

* * *

Birds chirped somewhere above him. Mark sat up with a groan and looked around.

 _...Here?_ he thought. _I'm back here?_

"Morning," Naomi said, perfectly fine and alive.

"What happened?" Mark asked.

"Well, it appears that death has no meaning here." She looked up as a couple of birds flew to another branch. "We 'die' and wake up here." She looked back at Mark. "Makes you wonder what the point of living is."

"To get stronger, of course," Mark said without hesitation. "To defeat anyone or anything that stands in our way."

"But what is that way?"

That shut Mark up. But let's be honest. What answer IS there for that?

"Sorry," Naomi said. "We just died, and got resurrected, I'm a little shaken up."

"Me too." Mark said. "That was probably the most disturbing day of my life."

Suddenly, the bushes behind them rustled. They looked over as Garret tumbled into view. He blinked in surprise.

"Back so soon?"

* * *

 **A/N: Alright, lemme try this: type up the chapters at home (where my internet sucks), go to someplace that I can frequently get not-sucky internet, and copy-and-paste them here. Yeah! That will fix my problem!**

 **...Maybe... People are gonna wonder why I visit the library so often.**


	16. Chapter 16: Readers Hate These Chapters

**Chapter 16:** Suddenly, plot.

The entire "town" gathered in Mark and Naomi's house to discuss the events of the day. Mark, who is ever so loquacious, decided to narrate.

"So we fought the Brain of Cthulhu today," he said. "We lost."

Garret did a spit-take. "You fought the Brain of Cthulhu?"

"Well, that explains my headache," Dolbere said.

"No, that's from blowing yourself up," Helen sighed. "Again."

"Oh yeah..."

"Forget that," Garret waved his hand dismissively. "These two went in and fought the smartest of all monsters, and Mark acts like it was nothing!"

"It actually wasn't like that-" Mark started, but was cut off by Garret

"-EVEN THOUGH HE LOST!"

"I mean, how else do you say that?"

"You could provide a little backstory," Naomi said. "Say all the things before we got to that."

"Oh yeah, it was because of a bomb and-"

WHAP! BAM!

Mark's head was driven into the table by the Crimson Heart, which thought it was the perfect time for a cuddle.

"Awww," Dryad said, "It's sooo cuuuuute!" She picked up the heart and started petting it. "I don't know why Mark hates it," Naomi said.

"As I was saying," Mark continued. He had some splinters in his hair. "That little… _thing…_ make me drop a bomb, which summoned the Brain. We fought. Naomi and I lost. We teleported here."

"Well," Garret said. "That explains how you got here so quickly. But now, you two need to train some more."

"Y'know, I never asked this question: Why are we fighting these bosses?"

"Have you noticed that I walk towards the Crimson every morning?"

"Yeah. What does-"

"Every day, I go there to check where it is in relation to a flag I placed the previous day."

"Yeah, that's cool, but why-"

"Patience, child!" Dolbere exclaimed. "Let the fuse work it's way down! He's just about to get there!"

"Thank you," Garret sipped some sake.* "I check the flags to check the progress of the Crimson." He paused for maximum dramatic effect. "It's getting closer."

Even the heart paused at that.

"So," Naomi said slowly, "What does that mean for us?"

"It means that you two must stop it."

"How?"

Garret took a deep breath and started explaining how to stop the advancement of the Crimson.

* * *

Deep in the jungle, below the farthest-reaching root, lies a beast, neither plant nor animal, of most tremendous strength. It sleeps, seeping out its evil essence that corrupts the land. Giant hornets and man-eating vines conceal its location. It has taken notice of Mark and Naomi and has told the Brain of Cthulhu of their presence, which is why they died so easily.

It's name is Plantera. And it rules the jungle.

It lies in wait, knowing that its minions can hold them off until Plantera controls the whole island, and it will move on to the world. It has taken thousands of islands already.

* * *

"How do we kill it?" Mark asked.

"You can't," Garret said, "yet."

"Why not?!"

"It doesn't think you're worthy yet. Which you aren't. You must defeat its minions first."

"Alright, then where do we start?"

"You already did, with the Eye of Cthulhu."

"Then it's the Brain?" Naomi asked.

Garret nodded.

"Then what?"

"Then..." Garret paused. "I don't know. You must seek them out and kill them, which is all I know."

"And why can't we help?" Dolbere asked. "Though, I'm not sure I'm brave enough."

"We are helping. We are providing them with weapons and tools to aid their adventure."

Garret hesitated and then said, "And, to be completely honest, we _are_ weak."

* * *

 **Ahh… the plot dump. A surefire way to lose your audience! Don't worry, I've got action coming up in the next chapter.**

 **Maybe...**


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